I have been in a relationshipp with my husband since I was 13 (11 years now) & married 4 years in July. Our issues are a typical of people our age. We argue like a old married couple. We have definitely had our ups & downs through the years. We essentially grew up together & hit ALOT of "bumps" along the way! Our marriage has been tested in ways we never imagined.
Honestly what has carried me through the years is my faith. I believe God creates someone for each of us. He puts on a path to reach them, he never said it would be easy or wouldn't require hard work. I really believe that we can avoid divorce we have to put the effort in.(Some situations it is the only answer)
Life gets in the way of our ideal relationships with each other as husband & wife. There are days where we barely see each other. Our schedules are hectic but were just trying to make it through the day.
We attended a great marriage class based on the book "Love & Respect" it teaches that based on biblical principles man wants respect & a woman desires love. VERY good book if you want to better your relationship this will kick start it!
Ways to enhance your relationship each day
- Make a meal for him (Even if your not that great every man loves the idea of a hot meal being ready for him, essentially you are feed his appetite & soul)
- Leave a short note on his bathroom mirror in lipstick (remind him of you & tell him you care in your own way)
- If you share chores do his 1 day as a surprise so he can relax for a little bit
- Dress up when he least expects it in sky high heels & a sexy outfit (Men are so visual & heels are a instant turn on)
- If you haven't become a pro in bed yet lol & there's something he has been asking to do surprise him & agree. (Men like to conquer in so many ways!)
- Whatever his hobby is get him something related to it
(cars, gaming, hunting, etc...)
- When your in the car alone, start a deep conversation ( My husband & I used to live hours apart & when we would travel we would have our best talks) Neither of you can go anywhere & you can get alot accomplished, just remember to have a cool head & keep your goal in mind.
- Make a list of goals you want to accomplish to together & post it where you both can see, so that you both are accountable & working towards the same things.
- If your cool with his mom find out things he liked in his childhood. Try to recreate a a fond memory.
- Share everything! No secrets, don't put yourself in bad situations (clubs, ex's, etc) if you put yourself there bad things are bound to happen, So don't be surprised if it does. Reinforce your relationship don't tear it down with your own hands.
- Hot Issues here-Phones/laptops- Don't have them locked, if your spouse wants to view your messages, or whatever they should. If you don't have anything to hid there shouldn't be a problem. If your spouse is giving you a reason for this don't accept it. There has to be something to it.
- Family- You each knew each others family going in, no excuses so deal with it like adults. Respecting your spouses family is respecting them. Arguing with your mother in law won't make things better, You get more flies with honey.
- Money- Set a budget, have 1 joint account, set financial goals. Have a limit for purchases that you can make without checking with each other, Ours is $50 bucks. Anything under is fine anything over we have to both agree on.
- "Free Time"- Each person is different here. A guys night or girls night once a month is acceptable IF you go on equal date nights to this. Set a agreed time home, NO EXCUSES, it will save you a fight. No sleeping in the next day either & slacking on your responsibilities around the house/kids
- Lastly respect, love, affection, time, & the mindset to make it last will go far. Apply each of these daily! Put God first in your relationship you will see a difference. I wish you long time happiness!!!